Friday, August 5, 2016

Soundtracks at 32 1/2

I've come just now to say thank you to our King. Not just a part of my life...but my everything :)

I'm trying to remember if I disclosed that I got baptized on the 17th of May last year. Don't remember. I fall off  the horse a lot but continue to get up, brush myself off, ask for forgiveness, attempt to do the same so that I will be forgiven and praise God. The opening line of this post is the opening line of Jermaine Edwards' Hallelujah. It's a song that I never interrupt while listening. I always listen til the end. It's a poignant one, full of emotion. I really love it.

It's applicable also. I turned 32 last November and I've been having a wonderful year. I strongly believe that I have never used "wonderful" as an adjective in describing any part of my life - until now. I'm in love and I'm loved. I'm not constantly in pain and agony like before and fighting a battle of denial. I've finally found someone.

So, I am grateful to God and he and I pray most mornings for our relationship to last and for us to stay committed and in love. I feel like Yendi Phillips did when she did that interview concerning Chino. I don't know why they fell apart. But I know that a praying family stays united. He has become my family.

So, I definitely say that the Jamaican gospel singer Jermaine Edwards' Hallelujah is right there in the midst of my soundtrack. (My darling is also baptized).

Kevin Downswell, another Jamaican gospel singer has a song I listen to a lot as well. I posted it earlier this year or last year. "If it's not you" then Lord it's nothing. It's something to work towards, relying on the Lord through thick and thin. Forgetting about self, ego, pride, temptation etc. Just relying on God.

If there was a song to say bye bye to bad love, it would be in my personal mix leading up to ole woman 33. If there was also a song saying I'm Wide Awake, I'd hum it. And guess what? There is one, it's by Katy Perry. Nuff said.

I feel a bit like a fish out of water. I haven't blogged in months and certainly haven't written any prose in a longer while. I started the blog with the intention of doing the soundtracks every two years. So, I try to honour the initial intent.

I love Future Hendrix the rapper. So random, I know. He uses profanity; I do at times too but not as often. He did a song with Miley Cyrus and Mr. Hudson (I think that's the other person's name). The song is called Real and True. It speaks about a man who loves his woman but messes up a lot. He is aware of his shortcomings and is basically at a turning point in his life. He starts the song with "Hold up hold up Future. What the ..... you doing? I have been quite interested in the happenings of Future and Ciara, during and after their relationship. I keep saying he has a deep love for her but just messed up. I wanted her to forgive him and take him back. I think the pregnancy influenced him to cheat. It seems to happen that way to regular persons quite a bit. I'm no expert. But maybe. I will also show understanding for Future because I simply love him. I used to be very bitter. Very very bitter. But now I am so happy that I believe I glow. I am a forgiver. I forgive. The forgetting part comes in too. Today I tried to remember what one of my most important exes was wearing the first day I met him and I couldn't remember. Two years ago, a year was clear in my head. Not now. The relevance is no longer there.

I deeply apologize if this post is not as witty and intelligent as I usually try to make them. I'm a bit rusty. Please know that I am joyful these days and look to uplifting music to go along with me as I journey in and out daily.

Hallelujah, I will sing. Hallelujah to our King.

Prayers are responsible for giving you faith. A man needs a wife with faith who prays unceasingly. Selah.

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