A girl I love as a sister asked me for advice one day as it relates to her love life. I honestly said to her.....I don't give advice on relationships any more because I don't follow my own advice.
It occurred to me today after a horrible violation of my intelligence, self-esteem and well-being that......even if I don't know how to achieve a successful relationship......there are some things women must know in black and white:
1. A man can look at you. When he looks at you, you identify love in his eyes. However, he just may look at other women with those same eyes.....and,,,, what you think is love. Is simply lust. Horniness.
2. A man can play mind games mercilessly and deny it. Thing is, he doesn't know he's doing it sometimes because he's too dumb to know the difference. Too used to lying and hiding who he is.
3. If a man wants you, he'll tell you. If you have to ask, he does not want you.
4. If a man cares about you, he'll want to kiss you a lot and hug you with true hugging spirit. If a man doesn't like hugging and kissing, he's an asshole and should have sex with prostitutes.
5. If a man is in love with you, you will know. You won't have to try to figure out how he feels. This is a fact.
6. If you want sex, have sex. If you want a relationship based on sex you can build one after the sex. If you want love, COMMIT yourself to annihilating sex for several months, several. What I have learnt is that, the unknown - that is, what happens after you enter each other's bodies, is scary....you may decide to get it over and done with, take the pressure off the act itself....however, jumping into early sex is like a man who comes quick....the experience is so much less pleasant, you feel cheated, like the encounter could have been so much more fulfilling. The unknown should not be feared. So, women, believe that you deserve a chance to be valuable wife material. And step away from the warm breath, the back rub, foot rub, alcohol, serenading crooners. Just say thanks, good night.
7. Today a thoughtless, immature microscopic bit of scum disrespected me. And you know what, I made him do that. Because of how much I spoilt him, was biased in his favour. No matter the amount of disrespect he meted out, I constantly and unfailingly took his side, always thinking from the side of my brain that swam in my love for him. Today was the last straw. I can't consider myself a smart young woman, and have someone demand to know why I want to be kissed and hugged....because that is not their thing. Well, you know what? Go and die. You utterly messed up slag.
8. I'll be 28 in a few weeks. God sees and knows, I won't be enduring any more self inflicted disrespect. To hell with any man who does not treat me like the royalty I am. Just go and jump off a cliff and impale yourself on a jagged rock while you scream for mercy as vultures devour your liver alive.